Literally, that’s all I’m doing since Sophia decided she’s a “big girl” now. No more nursing for her!
Yah, for her! Tears, sobs, for mommy!
I can’t begin to tell you what an emotional rollercoaster this was for me.
It started a few days after Christmas; Sophia was pushing me away during her nightly feeding time. I just figured she wasn’t hungry or maybe her teeth were bothering her, so I put her in her crib and off to sleep she went.
The following morning, same thing! Pushing me away and now a bit of whining. Again, I thought maybe her teeth were bothering her, so I made a bottle and she sucked down eight ounces in minutes.
Still, wasn’t thinking anything of it.
As her mid-day feeding time approached, I wondered if she’ll be interested in nursing. As we made our way to “our chair” in her nursery, it started as soon as I sat down, the pushing and whining.
As this was happening, I started to rack my brain to figure out. “What did I do for her to not want me?”
I did:
Tell her “No!” when she wanted to “take a bite”- Sign # 1
Notice she had to “suck” a bit harder, recently- Sign # 2
Notice although she was intersted in nursing, as soon as she heard anything, she’d look to see what was going on- Sign # 3
Even though I realized the thoughts above, I didn’t think these were “the signs” of her saying, “No thanks, Mommy, I’m a big girl now.”
At this point, I started to freak-out and beat myself up. I was on the computer for hours Googling for answers. I came across what is called a “Nursing Strike.”
What is a nursing strike?
Maybe I didn’t do anything wrong?
As I think back throughout this emotional rollercoaster, I learned so much about myself as a breastfeeding mommy and about breastfeeding in general:
Poor Heather!! I know how you feel. At least you can still pupm!! My goal was to breastfeed at least six months but as the months flew by I really enjoyed the mommy&baby bonding time and didn't want to give it up. I was selfish and wanted his feeding times to stay just me and Timmy! My experience was a little different but I'll share!
Timmy was born at 8 lbs, was 12 lbs at 2 months, 11 at 3 months and back up to 12 at 4 months. His pediatrician told me if he didn't gain weight by his 5 month visit that we would need to do some testing to see what was wrong. Of course Tim & I were devastated! I didn't get it. He was eating every 3 hours, seemed content after each feeding and slept 8 hours at night since he was 3 weeks old! I googled everything and came up with all of the most horrifying scenarios of what could be wrong. Then I decided I would just try and up my supply to see if his nursing habits changed. I would pump for 20 minutes on both sides and only get a total of 1 oz! What good would that do?!?!!
After two weeks went by and I spent much time on the phone with the Center for Breastfeeding Support, I was freaking out and decided I would go and visit my go to girl (Dr.R). I got there and broke down saying I felt like a failure and asking what I could do to up my supply (so you aren't alone in the crying to Dr R department!). There was really nothing I could do except for try herbal supplements, pump more and nurse more. Nothing worked and after 5 1/2 months I had to make the dreaded switch to formula 🙁 Needless to say it is still a sensitive topic and I truly miss it! My supply just completely depleted. I didn't even think that was a possibility when I was nursing on demand! I am not a fan of change and it's bittersweet watching Timmy get bigger…. I loved the little man I could just hold in my arms all day! Now he weighs 23 lbs and will be ONE in just 3 1/2 weeks!! I guess being a mommy means we have to learn to embrace change….. so when does it get easy?!